Coming to an End....

Its been over 4 months since I've posted. I haven't forgotten about the blog, its just been a lot to get my thoughts together. I figured no better time than to do this at 3am on a Tuesday morning. Finished a final yesterday morning, had a nice chill session and some dinner and margaritas....that might explain why I'm still up. A lot has been on my mind, a lot I have been pondering. People that have stayed on my mind all weekend and people who remain on my mind as I type now. I have never really wanted alone time as I do now. Just time to relax, clear my mind, get comfortable, have nothing attached, and just breathe. Just be calm and collected. Just to not be rushed and quick to have to make moves. Just to sit back in my bed with my computer or maybe not and just think.....think about what I say, who, why, just think about life. It is often said that we live to eventually die. But life is so valuable that we should live to live and live every moment. A friend in high school use to tell me that life is so short that it only represents the (-) on the gravestone. I was shocked but could understand. My opinion differed though. The life I live are memories for other people memories for people who will remain here long after I leave. I am here for photos to be put on the computer, in scrapbooks, on walls. Life is on abundance and I never doubt that. Life is what I can write down and sell a book about. It is about my biography and my perspective on life. My perspective is rich from my parents perspective and their parents perspective. I have not done this all by myself. There are influences pushing and pulling all around me everyday. My biggest fear is worrying too much. Putting too much of my heart out there to worry and worry and worry about someone I truly and deeply care about. It is that type of care that is untouchable, intangible, unimaginative. It is undescribable but it is a feeling, an overwelming feeling. A confidential feeling. It teaches me patience and tempers me. It takes my loud mouth and makes it silent. It makes me think before I speak. I makes me ponder the value of what I have and how keep that contained within me makes it even more valuable. It can't be taken away unless I give it away. It was not given to me by someone it was given by God and I took advantage of the opportunity. I failed to just sit around and wait for it to come to me. I reached out for it and made it work out for me and incorporate itself in the plan and purpose that was given to me. It makes me free stream of consciousness flow stronger and together. It drives me, motivates me....its my passion!